i have a lecturer who would crap 2hrs away of my life every wednesday. today was no different. he mentioned dat theres a medicine dats meant to treat heart attacks.its the most effective drug. mainly because they use pig's blood. tben he asked the malays " would you let them inject that drug into your body if that's the only thing thats gonna save your life?"
that got me thinking. how important is believe in ones life? would u rather die than to have something you deem foul injected into your blood?it was very interesting that he asked us this question in class cos earlier i was just discussing with my fren. the pig's organs the closest to humans. there have been medical cases where the only way to save the patient is to use the pig's organs externally or internally.the pig's liver is suitable for a patient who has a damaged liver and cant find a matching donor in time.if you're a muslim, would you rather die due to liver failure?or live another 10 yrs with the knowledge that you have a pig's liver in your body all that time??
when one is pushed into a corner, life's perspective changes.things that you thought was important suddenly seems trivial.things that you never think of suddenly becomes your one and only thought.
the reaper has no cellphone.he doesnt call before paying you a visit. he just shows up at your door and takes you on to the next journey.death has not been a part of my life yet.sure ive lost relatives but not anybody particularly close to me. i hope that when the reaper pays me a visit he will at least wait until ive seen the sunset one last time
Ever wonder why out of the blue i'll look at you and just stare without saying a word? or mantain eye contact whenever ur telling me something? well....let me give you a senario
say Malaysia suddenly is under attack from the 'forces of evil' and all males above the age of 18 are summoned by the govt to serve as soldiers. Say your regiment was losing and the only way for you to save youself is if you were to sacrifice a limb. Would you believe it if i said dat i wouldn't even notice let alone care if you lost half your body as long as you kept both your eyes? if you asked me what's your height, or if you have big nose or ugly teeth i would tell you no idea. cos everytime i look at you the only thing that captures my attention is your eyes. they are a deep dark shade of brown, sometimes even appears to be black. usually with just a hint of amusement(when im making a fool of myself or relating a funny incident) bt most of the time its clouded with untold thoughts....deep thoughts that i would give anything to read. deep shade of brown.......i just get lost in them. i would be so occupied sometimes that i forgot to listen to what your trying to tell me. its a pool of nothingness yet so full of mysteries that i get lost in and never want to find my way out.....usually i get out when you look away bt i wish i could continue swimming in them forever.....
Ive just met you and our relationship is relatively new......bt let me just say that having someone in my life thats MINE is a joy that i never knew could be so breathtaking...esp when ur physically with the person
i hope that the side effects of the relationship doesnt include constant sneezing ^^
It has been a long time coming.
I've finally decided to return to the blogging world after a hiatus of I think almost a year, if not more.
I still remembered my first post on Blogger was about my friend Wong Ka Pau getting together with Shirley Tsen (oops, I hope this doesn't bring back bad memories ok guys? If it does... megaoops). After that I wrote about a lot of things, mostly about my life here in UTeM for the first semester, as well as the six months before I entered university.
On my second semester, something tragic happened, and I decided that, along with the fact that I've come to look blogging as fulfilling a narcissistic need, compelled me to delete my blog off from blogger. The only thing I regret was not saving a copy on my hard drive for posterity. It was such a silly thing to do and I advise people to not repeat my mistake. Save it! No matter if you think what you have written is utter crap. At least it's YOUR crap. =)
I'm in my third semester now, and I guess in a sort of prophetic way, I've returned to blogging mainly because I've found someone in my life now, and one who blogs as well, although admittedly not as much as me, I think. Anyway I hope that she will be posting more entries about her thoughts here, cos I know some things are easier to convey with fingers tapping than mouths yammering.
I don't feel any emotions right now. I'm just sitting here, waiting for the time to pass. I realize that lately I've been doing that a lot. I remembered Einstein made a joke about his theory of relativity. He said, "Time is relative. For example, time seems to shrink and distort with I'm sitting on a hot stove with the gas turned on, but time stretches and disperses when I'm with a hot girl". I think I'm in that phase now.
And that got me thinking, what happens when I'm sitting on a hot stove with a hot girl right in front of me? What are the relative distortions of time then? Does it speed up or slow down or does the effect cancel out alltogether? I'm not sure, but I'm very sure that occupying these thoughts in my head seems to make time pass faster.
Have you ever tried looking into a pocket of wind? I did, when I was a kid. I used to sit next to the petrol station (along with hundreds of other people) after school while waiting for the school bus to fetch me home. The wait is horrible. The weather is scorching hot, there's not much wind (so much for The Land Below the Wind.) and the fumes of petrol are everywhere. It really does make time stretch out to infinity, because you experience every drop of sweat, every molecule of pollution and every neuron of frustration.
Then the wind would gust.
And then, due to the complexity of fluid mechanics and thermodynamics, pockets of air would form. Imagine a tornado, like the one in the uncreatively titled movie Tornado, and shrink it down to the size of your arm. So this pocket of air would move around, sometimes for a long time, before dispersing. And I would sit and stare into this pocket of swirling dust and leaves, mesmerized by the interplay of wind, something you cannot see or touch but can feel, with the very real and very solid dust and leaves. And that fascinated me.
And when I look into your eyes, that's exactly what I see sometimes. The swirl of your iris, buoyed by the formlessness of your emotions. And every time, I am mesmerized, unable to speak, worried that the slightest words will break the fragility of nothingness.
That's how I feel, and I've never been able to tell you, because I don't know how. But I hope you know now.
