Just Babbling

Sometimes,you have to wonder. is life worth it all? when i ask people that question, they gave me this look that says " of cos it is! what is the matter with you?"
when i talk about giving up, people brush it off as just childishness. that maybe true. only a child would give up when the going gets tough. im not mature enough to shoulder the responsibilities like an adult.

but honestly, are you telling me that none of you judging me now has ever thought of giving up? never needed a pep talk? never at a place in your life when you just feel like saying " fuck it. im done"

me still being around proves that im just all talk when it comes to quitting. in fact, this blog is proof itself. i have wanted to shut this blog down more times than i want to eat in a week. but it is still here.

sigh

its 5am in d morning and i cant sleep.
i cant sleep because my brain is too full with thoughts.
i cant sleep because i cant stop thinking. cant relax.

when i have too many thoughts, i have to babble to get them out

hence, i ended up here.

you know what i love? there used to be something that i love doing. that i would pick a day, set it aside, and just do it. most people call it waste of time. i call it people watching.

for those of you who dont know what i mean, its a simple act of sitting in a public place and watch the world go by.

i challenge you to think of an even more interesting specimen than the human race. not even animals are that interesting. because animals cant think totally for themselves. no matter how diversified, they always still have a pattern to obey. thats how we classify them.

but humans, dont. we dont. we may have the general appearance, but thats about it. no 2 mothers are the same. no 2 twins are the same. btw can u imagine how freaky it is to date a twin? what if u kissed the wrong one? what if...you fell for both? or what if u started to date one, but then actually fall for the other? complicated mess!

i just had a 3hr lunch with my girlfriend and..... well..basically we gossiped. about everything and anything. and anyone.

i am on the end of my 2nd year here in malacca and.... i see how people change from the first time i met them and now. some change for the better...well, most of them. and some became monsters who.... how DID this people get like this????

its like theyve never socialized all their lives!

i pity people like this. i try to like them. but i just cant help it. scums and troublemakers and inferior people..... the lesser the better

smart alecs are......sigh.

people watching are very interesting. very relaxing too. they take your mind off things and open up your perspective.

for instance, quite the contrary, people who attend local university are not all poor. i admit there are. but half of them are actually from well to do families who just dont want to pay exorbitant amount for a degree.

people who live in a civilized part of malaysia for example, putrajaya, doenst mean that they are more mature in thinking. people whose house is surrounded by paddy fields.

upbringing is soooo important. yet some people who has perfect parents can turn out to be so shitty.....i guess sometimes people are who they are even before any influence has touched them.

lol its 6am and i am still up!
so gonna pay for it tmr....lol lucky thing my 8am class on monday is cancelled